Yeah, I know. I disappeared again.

Yeah, I’ve been feeling this way a lot lately.

Between some serious depression issues, outrage fatigue, and the worst hayfever season the world has ever seen (thank you, Climate Change), I have not felt like blogging shit.

Seriously, I had the worst asthma attack I’ve had in over a decade, and probably should have gone to the emergency room, but managed to tough it out until a doctor appointment a day and a half later.  Now I’m on double anti-histamines (Claritin-D and Allegra) to try to catch as many allergens as possible, a double strength maintenance inhaler which has given me Thrush, and I’m still wheezing like, well, like an asthmatic.

After the hate and vitriol pouring down from the #notyourgoodfatty hashtag, I had to take an internet break.

And then the Isla Vista shootings happened, and I couldn’t even get mad.  Just cripplingly depressed.  And like many depressed people the majority of folk who interacted with me on a daily basis had no idea that behind the smile was a litany of “oh my god why am i still alive, the world is a sucking hole, make it stop” the entire time.  I’d come home, play Marvel Heroes for a few hours, because at least there you get to shoot flames into the bigots’ faces, and then crawl into bed only to wake up two hours later and be awake for 2-3 more hours.

There are some truly awful things being highlighted in our society, and I hope that this is indeed a watershed moment.

Like Miri Mogilevsky said:  “And before you call Rodger “crazy”: it is not actually “crazy” to believe stuff that’s been shoved down your throat from birth.” 

People other than the usual feminist suspects are starting to talk about misogyny now, including a lot of men.

Granted, you still have people doing the, “We’ll never know why he did it!” dance.  Ok, let me ‘splain something to you.  If someone leaves multiple videos and a 140 page manifesto declaring “I am about to kill a bunch of people because I hate women,” I think we can safely say we KNOW why he did it.  He fucking hates women.  The men he killed were in the way of his plan to murder women, or he was also angry at them for being able to have relationships with women.  Hatred of WOMEN is his stated reason for killing the people he killed.  Yes, he was also racist, and self-loathing about being half-Asian.  But he didn’t state he was going to kill people because they were Asian or were dating Asians.  HE STATED THAT HE WAS KILLING PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY WERE WOMEN OR WERE DATING WOMEN.

We know.  Just take the pathetic entitled doucheweasel at his fucking words, ok?  When someone posts an anti-semitic screed and then kills people coming out of a Holocaust museum, even if those people weren’t actually Jewish, we BELIEVE him about his anti-semitism.

So why is it so hard to believe that this asshole, who openly stated his hatred for and intent to kill women, was a misogynist?

Fucking shitheads.

Also, and I’m going to refer back to that quote from Miri up there, quit calling what he did crazy or assuming he was mentally ill.  I want you to go back up there and read that quote again before you even THINK about “nuh-uh”-ing in my comments section.  Also, even if he was mentally ill, so what?  The reason he killed was misogyny.  Mental illness is not why people kill.  Also, read Miri’s article for a breakdown of how many mentally ill people commit violent crimes versus how many of them are victims of violent crimes.

And yes, we’ve all heard about schizophrenics who go off their meds.  I did in fact lose a friend to that very scenario.  BUT I also know that most mentally ill people, even schizophrenics, never hurt or kill other people.  And I repeat, the fact that someone is ill does not negate their stated reasons for committing a crime.

Ok, I’m about done for today.  Looking at those articles about Justin’s death has me in tears.  Coincidentally enough, his death was one of the catalysts of the last really bad asthma attack I had before this one.  I still remember being at my desk in the CWU IT Department, where I worked with him, when I got the call from another friend.  I used to let him host LAN parties at my house in E-burg when I was working in Seattle on the weekends.