Something that frosts my cookies about the way people frame talking about fat.
Whenever I talk about being anti-dieting, or about Health At Every Size or about just in general not spending your life punishing yourself for your genetic predisposition to body shape/style/weight… I generally get a flood of comments about how they’re just concerned about health, blah blah blah… but if the back and forth keeps going, invariably this little gem will pop up:
“You can’t help who you’re attracted to.”
Ok, to a point you, you can’t. However, that isn’t at all what we’re talking about. Or at least not what I’m talking about. No one said you had to be attracted to fat people. We said you had to treat us like human beings. And if you only behave well towards people you want to fuck, then shame on you. A lot of shame on you. Because that, my friend, is the mark of the asshole.
When I talk about Body Acceptance, or even, Heaven Forfend, Fat Acceptance, the conversation always comes around to people assuming I want them to find me fuckable.
I don’t CARE if you find me fuckable. I have people who already find me fuckable, and quite a few more of them than I will probably ever get around to actually fucking, thanks. Some of them find me fuckable because I am fat, some of them find me fuckable in spite of my fat, some of them just don’t even care about the fat because they’re more interested in the person inside of it than the wrapping.
Is it flattering when the hot 21 year old clerk at Les Schwab flirts with my fat ass just days shy of my 38th birthday? Hells yes! Do I require it? No. It’s nice, but if I suddenly became sexually invisible to everyone except the Boy tomorrow, I’d deal with it. While I like being thought “hot,” I don’t like it enough to go back to the eager arms of my old beau Eating Disorders.
I do weigh substantially more than I did when Ogre and I were dating. And he’s ok with that because he loves ME. And because now that I’m no longer starving myself and completely batshit insane from malnutrition, I’m a lot easier to live with.*
*There is a direct correlation between the amount I’m not eating that I should, and the number of completely debilitating crying jags I suffer in a given day.
Polimicks 
You are awesome
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Thank you.
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“Frosting cookies” *sounds* like a good thing… but, uh, I guess it’s not. Maybe we’re not talking about the same thing.
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The character Mike Logan said it in an early episode of Law & Order, and it has cracked me up ever since. I guess “Chaps my hide” was too risque?
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Egg-zactly. That fratboy who sees fit to make a comment about my body shape while I’m waiting for a bus? I’m damn glad he identified himself as someone who goes on my Do Not Fuck List. Kind of makes you wonder how he treats other people, too, you know?
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I remember some guy in high school telling me he might even go out with me if I lost weight.
Well, hold me back! I can’t pass up a catch like him!
So many people just assume everyone else is put on earth to be pleasing to them.
Recently we overheard a neighbor of ours who sounds like Fran Drescher with the brain power of a twinkie without the creme filling- go on about having to cross the street to avoid some fat people. Then a few minutes later rage on about how everyone should be comfortable in their own bodies.
Yeah, thanks for that, cupcake.
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Yes times a thousand.
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as it happens, everyone *was* put on the earth to be sexually interesting to me personally.
fortunately, everyone is.
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Daughter of a borderline bulimic. THANK YOU
FOOD IS GOOD!
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A-fucking-men!
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I am going to be frank and make a comment to the statement you made the non-Polimicks thread.
Who in their right mind would not find you fuckable? I certainly have no “fat” phobia, and I like women to have some meat on them.
Anyway.
There are gals I know who weigh a great deal who have no significant health issues. My friend Marina for example is going on 71 years of age, and is on no heart/blood medication what-so-ever. She weighs over two hundred pounds.
It’s the amount of the various things you eat that is the key to a successful health.
There are some people though, who are over weight and should not be. Their being overweight is killing them and leading to major health problems. They need to loose weight! However, they have bought into the “there’s nothing wrong with being fat” mentality. Problem is, no two people have the same body chemistry, nor have they taken the time to sort out what their proper “fuel” should be.
Proper fuel equels proper health. -and for some people, being “fat” is a normal… AND healthy.
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And the thing is that neither can you tell by looking at them which is which, nor is it any of your business which they are.
Everyone, regardless of weight, color, size, shape, religion, etc… gets to be treated like a human being.
And thank you for the segue to the next Polimicks post.
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My standard policy for people whether it’s for friending, fucking, or just general interaction has been a fairly non-body-template specific “Can they hold up their end of the conversation?”. Regardless of the manner of interaction my primary requirement is that there is interaction to be had. The rest is just details. Delicious, delicious details. 🙂
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“And if you only behave well towards people you want to fuck, then shame on you. A lot of shame on you. Because that, my friend, is the mark of the asshole.”
OMG THIS.
I have always gotten stumped at this point in the conversation. Thank you for following it to its logical conclusion!
You rule.
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Thank you.
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