Polimicks

Leftist commentary from a mouthy bitch

You know, maybe it’s just indicative of the kind of person I am…

But you know what, when I see an article on Yahoo News (I swear there’s a conspiracy to give me a massive stroke by the end of the year) and the title is “Secrets to help you Resist Cheating” my first instinct is to say, “Yeah, I got one big hint for you right here: DON’T FUCKING CHEAT!”

Really.

Have we really come to a point in human development where we have to label hot coffee as hot, sharp blades as sharp, bleach as poison and give people “tricks” to keep themselves from straying?

Days like this make me long for the extermination of the human race.

Granted, I suppose “Secrets to Help you Resist Cheating” is better than, “Secrets to keep HIM from Cheating” which is what women’s magazines are constantly bleating on about. How it’s the responsibility of the woman to keep her man from straying.

WRONG!!!!!!

As I’ve seen demonstrated time and again in real life, you can be the most docile, submissive, accomodating woman and your husband will cheat on you if he is so inclined, and articles like these GIVE HIM PERMISSION. He can’t help himself, you’re not putting out enough, he needs to feel wanted, it’s his randy boy-brain trying to spread his seed like a good alpha male.

Some men should be neutered.

And yes, I’m fully aware that women cheat, too, and they should be neutered, too. However, when is the last time you saw a men’s magazine with a cover story about keeping her from cheating? When men cheat, you still get a whole lot of “Boys will be boys” and a bunch of Evo Psych bullshit about how they had to spread their genes far and wide and blah blah blah…. But let a woman cheat, and holy shit, she’s the Whore of Babylon. Better yet, let a woman cheat, leave her husband AND the kids, and oh dear LORDY, the woman is a monster!!!!!

My brain, she aches from the double standard.

So, here’s the no bullshit way to keep yourself from cheating: Don’t do it.

That’s it. No tricks, no gimmicks, no pills. Just don’t do it. Kind of the anti-Nike campaign. And the brilliant part is, it works for both genders, and it doesn’t place the responsibility for the prevention of cheating on the non-cheating party.

Seriously, don’t do it. Yeah, I know she’s hot, and she’s all over you, and you’ve had a few beers. DON’T DO IT!!!

I know he is one sexy muffin, and he’s been following you around like you’re the holy grail all night long, like he’s starving and you are one delicious steak. DON’T DO IT!!!

Just don’t fucking do it. Because you know who is responsible for your infidelity? You. Just you. Not the hot young thing in the miniskirt, not the randy young stud buying you drinks from down the bar, YOU. They aren’t the ones with the relationship, YOU are. Your relationship isn’t anyone’s responsibility but yours, shared with the person(people) you are in the relationship with. And believe me, it is plenty possible to cheat in open and poly relationships. And again, I say, Don’t Do IT!

That’s it. It all boils down to my One Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Be A Shithead.

Only shitheads cheat, so don’t be a shithead.

I think that about covers it.

You’re welcome.

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4 comments on “You know, maybe it’s just indicative of the kind of person I am…

  1. chessdev
    August 4, 2008

    *CLAPS*
    *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE*
    Couldn’t agree with you more…

    Like

  2. garpu
    August 4, 2008

    That’s it. It all boils down to my One Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Be A Shithead.
    The world would be a better place, yup.

    Like

  3. sarmonster
    August 4, 2008

    Part II: Why the wronged person in the relationship should confront the person they made the commitment with, not the person their S.O. Fucked.

    Like

  4. mojrim
    August 9, 2008

    I just wish you had linked the article.

    Like

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This entry was posted on August 4, 2008 by in Uncategorized.

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