I have been making a concerted effort to remove appearance-related insults from my vocabulary. Because honestly, if I’m pissed off at someone, it has NOTHING to do with what they LOOK like, and everything to do with what they ARE like.*
And let’s face it, appearance-related insults are, apart from being stupid, invariably unoriginal and have nothing to do with whatever argument you’re having. Appearance-related insults have one purpose, and that is to be hurtful, usually because you’re losing the fight and you know it.
This is something my Dad taught me about racism when I was kid: It’s stupid to hate people for something they can’t help. “There are way better reasons to hate people than what they look like.” My Dad’s kind of cynical, and finds that human beings in general have very little to recommend them as a species, which is where I get it. But the reason I bring this up is, I had always, ALWAYS known this in relation to skin color,** but never really thought to apply to it to other things, like fat or blonde, or whatever other appearance things people rip on you for.
After I had my “Well, duh,” moment, I started trying to remove appearance-related insults from my vocabulary. Yes, Rush Limbaugh is a fucking idiot, but does his fat have anything to do with that? No. He’d be a douche-canoe if he were thin. He is a small-minded, hateful, hypocritical, rotten person, fat or not. Does the fact that Donald Trump wears a rug have anything do with why he’s icky? No, it may be a symptom of the underlying ickiness, but really, the badness of his rug has nothing to do with the fact that he’s a weaselly, unethical shit and terrible businessman blowing through the inheritance he got from his father like it’s somebody else’s cocaine.
So, this is my challenge to you all: Remove appearance-based insults from your repertoire. Don’t leap for “fat, ugly, spotty,” or whatever your regional insults are. They’re unnecessary and really just demonstrate a lack of intelligence and creativity.
ETA: Basically, if all you can do is call me fat and tell me I don’t turn you on, you’ve already lost the fight, and we all know it.
*I do reserve the right to be snotty to hypocritical fat people who pick on other fat people for being fat, but even that’s more to do with their hypocrisy, and nothing to do with the fact that they’re fat, so I guess not.
**Not saying any of these things are the same thing as racism.