So, I participated in the #notyourgoodfatty hashtag this week on twitter. And I’m not sure why, but once again I was surprised and appalled by the number of people who felt the need to barge in and be asshats to those of us who were, basically, stating our refusal to compromise on our own humanity, just because they don’t find us esthetically pleasing.
Well, we all know what I say to that.
My favorite all purpose gif.
I know, you are all STUNNED that I would take this opportunity to use that gif. Again.
Just a warning, that tag is being heavily trolled by people who are TERRIFIED that someone they don’t find fuckable might feel a sliver of self worth.
Honestly, this whole post could just be that gif layered over the whole god damn page.
And, I went over there to get some examples and got sucked into the damn tag again. Look, just go look at it. Look at the fat people trying to discuss loving their lives, and then the trolls coming in to be douchelords. So, yeah, if you track my tweets over the last three days, you will see increasing levels of hostility. Now, most of the douchelords are guys, but we have several “Exceptional Girls” diving in for their patriarchy cookies. Seriously? Yeah, way to be an asshole.
Also, if you come into a thread full of people who have been talking about their lived fat experience to tell them they just need the proper “mindset” to lose weight, you are part of the problem. And yes, that does make you a troll. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings, but own it. You engaged in some asshole-ish behavior and got called out on it. Deal.
Basically it boils down to these few things:
1. We don’t know how to make fat people thin. Diets don’t work. They have a 95% failure rate.
2. Someone’s worth as a human being is not predicated on whether or not you want to fuck them. And if it is for you, then guess who the problem really is, sunshine.
3. Even if we could make fat people thin, so what? Fat people are no less deserving of respect and common courtesy than thin people, no matter why and how they’re fat.
4. People are fat for a multitude of reasons, and looking at them, gives you zero idea what those reasons may be.
It all boils down to Wheaton’s Law, which is “Don’t be a dick.”
Just don’t. You see someone fat, and you think you have the cure all diet advice? Keep it to yourself, because even if by some fucking miracle they haven’t heard it, they don’t want to. They don’t need your help, pity or anything else. Mostly, they just want to get through their day in peace without your harassment, well-meaning or otherwise.
Ok, one more thing.
Who the HELL thinks it’s ok to walk up and tell a complete stranger they don’t find them fuckable? I have seriously had this happen. Minding my own business at the bus stop, reading a book, headphones in. Dude walks up, gestures for me to take my headphones out, I figure he needs to ask a question, and proceeds to tell me I’m too fat for him to want to fuck me.
WHO DOES THIS?
Look the take-away lesson is, just stop being a complete douchelord and let people live their lives free of your malign bullshit influence.
Oh yeah, here’s a shot of me and my “Imaginary Husband.” Yes, someone told me I wasn’t really married because no one loves or is attracted to fat women.
Yup, I have some powerful imagination. I made him real 20 years ago, and he’s still hanging around.
Sorry about the trolls. I think you are a beautiful and wonderful person, and I love you dearly. I suppose that’s why we’ve been friends for so long.
Once I was standing around outside a bar after last call talking with a couple of female friends – one fat, one with glasses. This drunken douchebag comes into the middle of our group (we don’t know him at all) and proceeds to tell the fat friend he’d fuck her if she weren’t fat, the bespectacled friend he’d fuck her if she didn’t have glasses – and then he turns to me, fat WITH glasses.
I looked pointedly at his crotch, bared my teeth, and snapped them together a few times making a rather loud clacking sound.
He got the fuck out of there without another word.