This is Disgusting
What part of NO! don’t you get?
So, I belong to a mailing list for female bloggers, and this post came through my email the other day. Basically this woman is lamenting that her sons won’t be “innocent” because she has to tell them to treat women with respect.
So, it is perfectly acceptable to her that generations of women continue to have be taught as soon as puberty hits, and often before, that men are going to want to rape them.
I guess the innocence of women and girls is less valuable than that of her sons.
Really?
It is more horrible to have to tell your sons that not only does No mean No, but that they need to wait for an enthusiastic yes, than it is to tell generations upon generations of young girls that they have great big rape targets painted on them by virtue of existing.
I am beyond disgusted with this self-serving, whiny bullshit.
“It’s so hard to tell boys not to sexually assault girls! Waahhhhh!!!”
Do you really think it’s a piece of cake for women to tell their daughters, “There’s a one in four chance that at some time in your life someone, odds are good a man, is going to sexually assault you, no matter how careful you are, no matter how many ‘rules’ or ‘guidelines’ for safety you follow. Oh, and odds are at about 75% that that man will be someone you know, trust, and possibly love?” And, the icing on the cake, most people are going to blame you for your assault, and say you did something to deserve it, “if it even happened at all.”
I cannot tell you how angry that blogpost made me.
Especially her martyr bit at the end where she says she’s going to do it because she knows it’s right, but that it will be SOOOOO HARD, and she’ll be stealing their innocence to protect them.
I just, I can’t even.
I didn’t comment, because when I first read it all I could type was “Fuck you!” over and over and over.
Look, here’s the deal, if you teach your son not to touch people without their consent, and not to coerce, bully, or force anyone, male or female, into sexual contact, maybe they won’t RAPE someone. The goal of this is not to avoid the nigh mythical “false rape accusation” (DoJ stats, less than 8% of all rape allegations are unfounded, about 1-2% may actually be false, as opposed to not enough evidence to prosecute, about the same as for any other crime really), but to avoid RAPE! The actual very common crime, that a scary majority of men admit they would try as long as you don’t use the word rape, but say, call it coercion, or even “forcing someone to have sex.”
I am just… I cannot believe anyone wrote that out, and on reading it thought, “Yeah, that’s reasonable.” Let alone when that person is a woman, who has spent her own life under the spectre of rape. I’m even more upset that a women’s blogging network would promote that shit.
Gah.
I am thoroughly and completely disgusted. I just… Lady, I hope you figure this out and fast. You have a bad case of internalized sexism. You should get that looked at.
Look, what everyone needs to teach their children, regardless of gender, is that they should not touch people without consent, and that no one should touch them without consent. Part of the reason that pedophiles find children easy targets is that we start teaching them at a very early age that everyone has a say about their bodies except them. We have to teach our kids, all genders, that “No” means something, and that it is to be respected.
Is that so fucking hard?
We also need to teach them that where sex is concerned, if everyone isn’t into it, no one should be doing it. No telling women that they should just “close their eyes and think of England” once they’re married. No telling boys that girls don’t mean “No,” and no telling girls that they have to play games with “No” to land a boy. Or a girl. Or whomever.
I just…
See? I, the non-parent, have come up with a way to teach your sons not to rape, without getting into anything age inappropriate. It’s not that fucking hard.
Polimicks 
I want to post “Cry me a fucking river” at her post.
LikeLike